Another Passover in the New Normal

Dear Jewish family and friends,

Another year has come and gone and ‘Pessach‘ is here again.

The holiday of Passover presents so many wonderful elements. In addition to the rich traditional Jewish history, it is also a reminder of the importance of humility and gratitude.
It further represents the coming of spring, rebirth, and freedom.
This year, the humility remains as we view the refreshing spring air and long-awaited sunshine from behind a closed window and wax nostalgic about the freedoms we once had.
On the bright side, there are suddenly new benefits that emerge from this new culture that has been thrust upon us:

• Those annoying relatives that would once have graced your seder table can be politely dismissed with so much as a simple cough.
• Drunk uncle with the smelly breath is no longer a problem since he can be made to wear a mask, which serves the dual purpose of a washcloth when his face ultimately falls into the matzah ball soup.
• That aunt who is always so liberal with the perfume that gives new meaning to “Eau de Toilette” is also less of a nuisance when face masks are handy.
• Social distancing presents additional benefit to those at the far end of the table who never quite listen to the Haggadah service anyway, and at this point will likely not even be in the same room but to maintain appearances will occasionally just yell out “AMEN!” at random.
• The Afikomen, of course will have to placed into a baggie with surgical gloves and hidden in a sterile environment. In place of prizes, the finder will be given a pre-written I.O.U. for an E-transfer to be sent after the two first holy days are over.

Other than that, everything else will be exactly the same as it has always been:

• Your house will be impeccably clean for about half a day leading up to the first seder.
• No new matzah technology has been developed so your constitution will once again adjust to digesting what are essentially edible wood chips.
• Many of the wonderful snack foods you love will inexplicably be replaced with inferior substitutes, regardless of whether they ever contained “Chametz” to begin with.
• At least one adolescent will vomit from “Manischewitz overdose”. So will at least one of your elders but possibly for different reasons.
• Someone will proclaim how much they adore the taste of ‘Charoset’ and ponder aloud why we do not eat it year-round, at which point 11 other guests offer to have them eat their portion. Incidentally, according to ‘halacha’ this is NOT kosher.
• Note: I received my rabbinical degree on-line during quarantine from idiotsguidetotalmud.com

And lastly, when all is said and done, we will probably be told there is a new strain of virus that threatens to kill our loved ones, which can be transmitted by speaking to someone online or by phone.

So… Chag sameach everyone!

Instagram post from last Passover.