Notorious Music Myths – Part II

Buddy Holly with Waylon Jennings circa 1958

For my usual extensively verbose introductions, please click here to read Part I where we covered some of the bizarre myths surrounding a number of artists throughout pop and rock history.

One would think that common sense would prevail when evaluating these rumours, but in the world of popular music where outrageous acts are virtually commonplace, separating truth from legend can be somewhat challenging. Sometimes, just a sliver of truth can spiral into something that provides a more alluring narrative.

So in that vein, I share four stories that may contain some truth, be ambiguously false, or complete horseshit. You decide.

What? It’s legal now!

Puff the Magic Dragon: Peter, Paul and Mary’s delightful little diddy about a friendly dragon came out in 1960, and everyone assumed it was about getting high. But Leonard Lipton claims he wrote the song in 1959 and had never even smoked weed. So that’s that. Just because his poem was put to music by his friend Peter (of Paul and Mary) and became a huge hit, drawing loads of national attention that ultimately became the target of controversy? Why would a white ivy league (Cornell U) college student in post-McCarthy America lie about that? It was obviously just misunderstanding. After all, saying that “a land called Honalee” refers to Hanalei, Hawaii, which was infamous (at the time) for producing powerful pot, seems like a reach. So the fact that he named his “magic” dragon “Puff” and his friend little Jackie “Paper” might give the impression there was a more adult metaphor in the works, proves nothing. That neither of those provided rhyme or alliteration, and therefore may as well have been Matt the Magic Dragon and little Jimmy Johnson, was purely coincidental. Well, whatever the truth, the ganja back-story was the only thing that made this song interesting. Without that, it’s really just a corny piece of shit.

I like wings!

Ozzy Osbourne ate bats: Apparently, anyone that saw Ozzy in concert in 1980 witnessed him biting the head off of a live bat! And that was a huge tour. The guy at the bat store had one hell of a year. So here’s the thing: Apparently, Ozzy was on stage and grabbed what he thought was a prop, and bit its head off. The realization that “Holy shit! I have the head of what was moments ago a live winged-rodent in my mouth!” was not enough to phase Osbourne. Partly because he was a finely tuned master of theatrical improvisation, and mostly because he had consumed a cocktail of narcotics that likely mimicked the effects of elephant tranquilizers. But I’m still pretty sure he didn’t leave the arena thinking “Blimey, that was delicious! Fetch me another.” It did not become part of his act, and he probably indulged in a chaser of rabies shots and Listerine. But the legend lives on.

Waylon Jennings cursed Buddy Holly: Some of you may not know that country legend Waylon Jennings was once Buddy Holly’s bass player. Well, the night of the infamous crash that killed Holly, Richie Valens, and the Big Bopper, Jennings was supposed to be on the plane. Instead, he graciously offered up his seat to the Big Bopper, and opted to ride the bus instead. While making their arrangements, Holly quipped to Jennings, “I hope your ol’ bus freezes up!” and Jennings jokingly replied, “Well, I hope your ol’ plane crashes!” Of course, we know that pilot error and inclement weather caused the fatal accident but Waylon believed that his ill-timed joke cursed the flight that sent his dear friend to a very premature death. Sources close to the star say that he tortured himself, suffering through a life of addictions and carried the guilt with him until his death in 2002.

In the Air Tonight by Phil Collins: Great story of how Collins, on a stormy night, saw a man drowning from afar. In the distance was another man who was much closer and could have helped him, but didn’t. Instead the creep just watched him drown. Rather than confront the gentleman or call authorities, Phil leaves in disgust and writes a song about it. After a few years, he tracks the scoundrel down (that part is a grey area in the story) and invites him to his concert. Despite Phil’s Pompous assumption that the guy was a fan, he shows up to a front-row seat. At some point in the show, Collins tells the story as a spotlight shines on the lowlife, burying him in public humiliation. The gentleman wanted to walk out, but instead he was forced to endure the entire song while he waited for his wheelchair. You see, what Collins had failed to notice on that stormy night was that the man could not walk, and the drowning man was his elder brother and caregiver whose death left him devastated and stranded until he was found and rescued by coast guard a day later. Had Collins not jumped to the alternate conclusion, he might have done something to help. Now, I ask that you pause for a moment to fully appreciate the irony of this. Then, once you’ve absorbed the impact of this tale in its entirety, I can finally reveal that the second part of this story is made up of just as much bullshit as the first. Hopefully, you can appreciate how a tiny shift in perspective could change the “creep”, “lowlife” “scoundrel” into someone worthy of empathy, and the “hero” into a villain. And this concludes today’s lesson.

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